A gorgeous Carolina day!

Kelsie had a feeding therapy appointment this morning, so since we were already on campus and the weather was as perfect as it gets, I thought it would be a great time to have a picnic lunch in the quad. So we headed over to Franklin Street, grabbed a to-go lunch at McAlisters and headed over. Kelsie always has a ball when we go on campus but today was the best yet. We had a great time. I captured a few great moments on video. The first as she started chanting "Lets go Tarheels" for the first time ever. (Gotta love having an iPhone handy for times like this!) And the second was just a funny moment as she watched (and cheered) for a group of college students playing frisbee. I didn't even point them out to her or tell her to cheer for them. She just became captivated by them, asking me what they were doing. And then started saying, "Yay, people!" She might just end up being a sports enthusiast like her momma! You just gotta love this kid's spirit. She is so full of excitement ALL the time!

 

 

Sweetest thing ever!

Oh my goodness. Tonight as I was putting Kelsie to bed, she asked if I would sleep with her. I don't always say yes but tonight I did. As I laid there pretending to be asleep, I cracked one open and watched her looking at me. She was just lying there her face as close as it could be, chin propped up in those sweet little hands as she just starred and me. And then she started leaning over and kissing my cheek. And then my lips. And then she'd stare some more. And then kiss me again. And thats exactly what I do to her as she sleeps! Oh but it  was just the sweetest thing ever and moments like these are ones I hope I never forget! I love that girl so much I feel like my heart could burst!!! :) 

Potty training success!

Kelsie has become more interested in potty training over the past few days and today has only peed in the pullup ONE time and that was at nap. The rest of the day, she was dry and only peed or pooped in the potty! Over the weekend, she started telling me more consistently when she had to potty even when we were out. Then today, my mom stayed with her while I worked and said she peed on the potty each time! She wore panties all morning, and never had an accident. Mom put her in a pull up for nap and it was wet when she woke up but she peed again in the potty when she woke up and was dry the rest of the day. She used the potty with me 3 times after I got her after work. I am so excited. Just hoping this success will continue the rest of the week! Hoping she is potty trained by the weeknd...

On a side note, mom brought Kelsie to meet me at work today. She is always quite shy around my coworkers but she likes sitting with me at my desk. She now says things like "mommy, what doing?" as she watches me work on my computer (charting).

Sunday Spontaneity! Trip to Greensboro Science Center

Spontaneity makes me happy. I wake up most days not knowing what our day will consist of. I usually give in to my feelings for that day, whether that means staying home or going out (unless of course I already have some other prior committment or responsibility). But otherwise, I just plan my day as I go. I love when fun things pop up that I hadn't planned on. Perhaps I get that from my dad. On second though, I KNOW I get that from my dad. He does the same thing. Neither of us are planners. I love that he will call out of the blue with some off the wall idea to go do something. It makes life more fun, more interesting that way. I love the memories from my childhood of being woken up at 6am on a Saturday morning telling me to get ready, we were going on a trip. With no warning, just pure joy, excitement and anticipation, sometimes not even knowing where we were going. But I always knew with him, with our family, it would be fun. I love that about us. I hope to give my children those kind of memories. New experiences, lots of fun, and quality time spent with the family.  This past Sunday was one of those days. This time, dad and I both had an idea of something to do. I called him and asked what he was doing that day and his reply was "something with Kelsie." I asked if he wanted to come up and go to a movie with us after church (my mom works on Sundays after church and Nathan was in China on business, so spending time together was on both of minds.) He said he had been thinking of taking her to science center/aquarium in Greensboro. At first, I thought of all the other things I needed to do, and how much of a hassle it would be to pack up everything for her, go to church, drive to Greensboro, deal with her missing a nap, the fussiness, the tantrums on the way home and I almost just said No, too much work than its worth. But then I started thinking how much she would enjoy it. How excited she would be to spend time with grandpa, how happy I would be to spend time with my dad, and for all of us to enjoy doing something fun together. So I supressed those other feelings and decided to go for it. And it was so much fun! Valerie and Drew (my sister and brother-in-law) met us too and we all had a great time. It brings me so much joy to watch Kelsie see something the first time.  How many times have I seen farm animals up close? It is still fun to see, but for her, these first few years are about seeing and doing things for the first time! And its so much fun being a part of that. Being with Kelsie when she saw the tigers for the first time or fed a goat or put her hand in a tank of stingrays or watched the sharks swim...these are now great memories that I may not have had if I had said "no, I don't feel like it today, maybe another time". We just never know if we will get "another time" and that thought often leads my decisions. Why not just put aside your chores for a day and do something fun? Your children will only have one childhood, so make it worth it. Make it memorable! Share as much joy with them as you possibly can. Give them new experiences. Teach them new things by letting them see it with their own eyes. And above all, just spend time with them. Yes, we could have done that from anywhere, including our living room. But it wouldn't have been near as much fun as this! And we wouldn't have been with "A-pa"! (I'm so thankful for him, that he likes to have fun to, likes to do new things with Kelsie, and instilled in my this zeal for life and raised me to be as I am. I love him. 

 

The "Itser Spider" and Birthday Song

Kelsie can put on a show! I love to hear her sing. She is just starting to sing (recognizably at least). She has done Twinkle Twinkle Little Star before too. I will have to try to capture that on video soon!

 

 

 

Fun summer day!

 "Tickle tickle tickle!" :)

Popsicle sitting in the pool. Summer relaxin on the back deck! 

Pedal boat ride at Pullen Park

We saw the train go by! Woooow!

Carousel rides still make her nervous (or "really scared" as she says)! But we did see a few more smiles this time! 

Train ride! "Oh boy, really cited!"

Bring on more fat!

Whip cream is not something I ever buy (maybe because I like it too much)! But I bought some today, and used it tonight to try fatten up one of Kelsie's favorite foods (strawberries). Wouldn't it be nice if we all had a medical reason to eat as much yummy, fattening food as we wanted? Probably the only perk of having CF, but it's not a bad one. 

 I think it's the first time she has ever seen whip cream in a can and thought it was pretty funny for me to squirt it in her mouth too. 

Making bedtime fun!

Kelsie really likes hide and seek these days. And she likes to hide under her covers when it's time to go to bed. Sometimes she will sit up in the bed with a sheet over her, playing with her babies or looking at a book for 20 minutes after we leave the room. So tonight, I pulled it over both of our heads as I was rrading to her, kind of like a tent. She didn't want the fun to end so I just tied it up like a canopy and she went to sleep like that. :)

She has my heart

Funny girl

Kelsie is at this age where I find laughter in almost everything she does. She is just SO funny!! 

Today's moments...

"Deer yeah-et" ....then..."HOME!!"

Because she kept saying that on the way to the beach and has continued to say it since we've gotten back even though she knows we are already home. 

She's comes up to me with a sweet hug and kiss on the lips and says "happy burtday"... But it's not my birthday. Not sure what made her think of that but it sure made me laugh!!

We went to the park and she loved that!

We played in jello. (Her first jello experience.) And that was fun. She didn't care much about eating it but would still put it in her mouth, turn her head side to side and say "yicious!" (Delicious). 

We played hide and seek tonight - she actually knows how to play now (both the hide and the seek part) - but can anyone guess where she is!? Hehe. :) And you can almost see her smiling under those "fovers". 

She bumped her head on the footboard of her bed, sat up and grimaced, said "owwww!", paused as she thought what to do next, then said..."dand-daib", climbed out of bed and marched to her bathroom saying "I dit it". (Translation: I need a bandaid for this boo boo, I'll get it!). Didn't even need me for that one apparently. She looked totally in control and independent taking care if herself! She does have a fascination with band aids at the moment too however! 

The joy of being called mommy

So thankful for my days at home with Kelsie. Becoming a mother is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me! I have lived a blessed life and have experienced some pretty wonderful things but being a mom is easily the best of them all. It is not always easy. In fact, it is the hardest job I have ever had. The responsibilty is so great and the fear, the uncertainty, the guilt, the anxiety can ...all feel so real. But there is no earthly comparison to this kind of love, it is deeper than any other. And the joy and excitement you feel as you watch your child grow and learn and do new things is inexplicable. Each and every day, as I watch Kelsie play, I think how blessed I am to have her in my life. I notice her say and do new things, I see her personality continue to evolve, I receive her sweet affection, I hear her sweet voice calling "mommy", and I am overwhelmed with love for that child! Don't get me wrong, she is not a perfect child and I am not a perfect mother, but there is no doubt that God made us for one another and is helping us along this journey each and every day.

 

Here are a few pictures from our day today:

 

 

Washing her play food. Next I'll have to get her washing dishes! ;)

Trying a new way of entertainment during PT. The vest vibrates so much it's hard to hold and read a book but this tray works pretty well to hold a sticker book and puzzle! 

She loves puzzles and is getting really good at them! She put this one together all by herself and was so proud! Mommy was too!

"DID IT!!!" :)

Growing up so fast...

Sitting in the big girl swing and riding a tricycle!? How did that happen so fast? At least she still needs my help!

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day! It was such a busy day! We had lunch at Nathan's mom's then went to my aunt's house for dinner (celebrating graduation, mother's day, and dad's birthday). A busy day for Kelsie often means less sleep and today that lack of sleep led to the worst tantrum I have ever witnessed! We got home and she unleashed her inner tiger or something. Oh, it was quite a scene. Screaming and crying so hard she almost threw up! She was just soooooo tired! We did a lot today. She went down for nap late since we were at his parents' house for lunch, then we had to get her up after only an hour of sleep to go to my aunt's house. And she ran around outside non-stop from 5-9p while there. So as I was witnessing this major meltdown trying to contemplate what to do next but could hardly do anything to console her, I remembered that she didn't eat much at dinner and it had at that point been almost 4 hours since she had eaten so I thought maybe she is hungry. Since she is not usually awake at that time of night, that's not something I usually think about. I asked "do you want some milk?" and she calmed for a second and said "ok." As soon as I got back with her milk and a cereal bar, she calmed right down. Then kept saying "mmmm, delilicious" as she ate it! Needles to say, an overly exhausted and hungry child is a force to be reckoned with!! Poor thing said as we laid down and she rubbed her eyes, "seepy". She asked me to sing, held my hand, and laid her face against mine, then was asleep within 60 seconds.

But the greatest tantrum of her existence reminded me:
Parenting is hard and we are still learning as we go!
Sometimes being a mom requires more patience and grace than you know how to give.
Your child depends on you to meet their needs even when they don't know how to express them.
It is more important to figure out WHY your child is acting the way they are than it is to correct the behavior.
Your child finds so much comfort in your voice and in your touch. Make sure you are always there to comfort them and that you will always love them no matter what!


I am also so thankful for my mom today! For her love, support, hard work, kindness, grace, selflessness, and friendship. She is the greatest woman I know and I am so blessed she is my momma and is such an awesome grandma to Kelsie! I am also so thankful God blessed me with the beautiful gift of motherhood! It is the greatest love I have ever known and the hardest but most wonderful job I have ever had! That little girl brings me so much joy and I am so glad God made her mine!

Zizard!

Kelsie is so intrigued by lizards these days! We saw one on a tree this morning and she tried to feed it a leaf.

Don't want to miss one moment

Every day, I see Kelsie changing more and more. She is doing something new every day. Saying new words. Trying new things. Interested in everything around her. Exploring and imagining. There are so many things that are new to her and it is so fun to witness her reaction when she experiences something new. She looks upon everything with wonder and excitement. Even little things catch her attention, like a big truck passing by or a bird flying in the sky. I often forget to write things down. I just think, "oh my, this is so stinkin cute" or "wow, I cannot believe she remembered that". She amazes me every day with what she says and does and REMEMBERS. It is an absolute joy to spend time with her every day, to watch her play and learn new words and figure out how things work. Unfortunately, its easy to let the busy world get the most of our time and forget to pause and soak it all in. But I don't want to fall victim to that. I don't want to miss one moment. I've been reminded lately just how quickly this time is passing by. She won't be little forever so when she asks me to read one more story or sing to her at night or lay down beside her as she falls asleep, I'm going to be there. I'm learning to stop worrying about that fear of creating a problem and instead, just be there to love her and enjoy these extra special moments for they will soon just be a memory.

Her vocabulary is exploding every day. Her ability to name things amazes me sometimes. Yesterday she found a flashlight and said "mommy, fash-iiight". I don't remember ever teaching her that, and its not something we use very often but she still knew what it was. They are really like little sponges at this age! Sometimes she says words that only we can understand but sometimes we don't even want to correct it because they sounds so cute (or "tute" as she would say!)

She talks about her memories of things A LOT. You can tell things that really had an impact on her because she will randomly bring it up. These days things she says a lot: "fog (frog).. table... jumping.. away" Translation- the frog was under the table jumping and then he went away. This happened several weeks ago and she still talks about it a lot. And anytime she sees a lizard: "Keh-kee, scared, zizard." Translation- Kelly was scared of the lizard. She still hasn't forgotten it either. Nathan's dad helped cut down a tree LAST year and she still talks about it..."papaw, trees".

She cried for me one night after going to bed while staying at Nathan's parents house and when I asked what was wrong, she pointed to the ceiling fan and said "mommy, dragon!". I had to hold back my laughter but compassionately reassured her that it was just a fan, not a dragon. :)

She really seems to say anything that comes to her mind (if you know me well, you probably know she gets that honest!).

She continues to be independent. If we ask or try to help, we typically hear "NO, self" A LOT these day.

She is very affectionate. She hugs on younger children and babies as much as you will let her. She just cannot seem to help herself, she hugs and hugs and hugs and makes that sweet little voice saying "Aaava, tuuuute".

She is still a mommy's girl and I wouldn't want it any other way! :)

Things that make her the happiest: babies, dogs, and the swing!

She is developing more fear about things as kids usually do at this age but she is also still really brave and doesn't get scared of much. When she hears a truck passing by (even when we are in the house), she will run up to me, grab my leg and say "mommy, scared, truck."

We took her to a movie yesterday (my dad wanted to see Oz for his birthday and wanted her to go). She did SO well. Everyone was surprised how well she did. She sat on my lap the whole time and was into the movie from beginning to end. There were definitely some scary parts that I would have rather her not see but it didn't seem to phase her. She seemed to get it and would open her mouth wide or cover her mouth and she did startle a couple of times but didn't cry. It was actually a good movie and kid-appropriate.

She is very tough. She will fall down but just stands up, brushes off her legs and under her breath you can hear her saying "ouch" as she rubs them and keeps on going.

But she also has discovered what band aids are and puts that request out there a lot if she finds a boo boo or just wants to pretend there is one there. Last night, she was sitting on the potty and asked for a band aid. Then very carefully unwrapped it herself and applied it perfectly to a little scratch on her knee. Then wanted to put one on the boo boo on my face too.

 If she sees something on me that she thinks is a boo boo or if she hears me say "ouch", she will run up to me and say "ok? then "tiss it" and "ok, allll better".

She is still trying to count and will do this unpromted...it often sounds like this starting out.."8, 9, 2..." or "6, 7.." but never starts with 1.

She likes her room completely dark (like momma)

She is very strong willed and thats a challenge to discipline at times. She seems to respond best to my talking and explaining to her why things are wrong. She usually does pretty good but we definitely have our share of tantrums. And she can definitely test my patience! Typical toddlerhood/terrible 2s as they call it.

The other day I looked at her with a stern face because she was not listening to me and would not sit back to let me buckle her in the carseat...and what did she do?? She held her hand palm up to my chin, tilted her little head and said with her sweet voice, "mommy, eyes, beautiful"...Now how do you discipline THAT!?

She sleeps very well these days. 12 hours at night usually and a 2-3 hour nap during the day.

Her appetite has been terrible lately but we just started a new medicine, erythromycin (which is an antibiotic but in small doses helps with motility to moves things through her GI system faster aiding with reflux and constipation) and I'm already seeing some improvements.

7 years

May 2nd, 2006. Its a day I don't remember at all but yet, its significance is one I will never forget. Every year, as the anniversary of my accident approaches, I think it will no longer affect me. But even after 7 years, I cannot help but be overcome with emotion as I think back to all that happened, all that I went through, and all that could have been. I was broken and I am now scarred forever, but I survived and I am stronger. I almost lost my life, I almost lost my legs. But by the grace of God and the hands of doctors, I am here, living proof of a miracle. Thankful for today and every day. But especially today.

CF Appointment - Eating issues

We went back today for a CF appointment. We were supposed to do her infant PFTs with sedation but her doctor decided to cancel that and just use the appointment to discuss all of her feeding issues. She weighed 30.9lbs today and was 91 cm tall (right at 3 feet). So that is actually still really good, 80th percentile for weight and height I believe.

Even though she has been growing well, she still has not been eating well. She continues to love drinking Pediasure which is like a full meal's worth of nutrition but I still want her to eat. She never seems hungry, pushes away food, will take a bite and then gag and spit it out and things of that nature. It has made feeding times very stressful on me because I know how important good nutrition is for her. She is supposed to eat more fat and calories than the average toddler and I feel like (with the exception of Pediasure, she is eating less). Her doctor has said for a while she felt this was just normal picky toddler behavior. And to some degree, I felt the same way. She has definitely been exhibiting some behavioral eating issues. But I also feel there is more going on to affect her appetite. Her reflux has been getting a lot worse despite taking reflux medications. I can hear food regurgitating into her chest when I am holding her and she will pat her chest, make a grimace and say "mommy, burp". She coughs when doing that as well and is coughing more during and after meals. So they decided to put her on a medication to aid in GI motility (moving things through faster) so this will hopefully help with the reflux and the constipation.  They also scheduled an appointment with the feeding team to asses other possible causes of her eating behvaiors and work on developing a plan to get her eating again.

From a pulmonary standpoint, she is doing really well. No concerns there as of now. Her PFTs (pulmonary function test) was rescheduled for June 13th.