Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Funny girl

Kelsie is at this age where I find laughter in almost everything she does. She is just SO funny!! 

Today's moments...
"Deer yeah-et" ....then..."HOME!!"
Because she kept saying that on the way to the beach and has continued to say it since we've gotten back even though she knows we are already home. 

She's comes up to me with a sweet hug and kiss on the lips and says "happy burtday"... But it's not my birthday. Not sure what made her think of that but it sure made me laugh!!

We went to the park and she loved that!



We played in jello. (Her first jello experience.) And that was fun. She didn't care much about eating it but would still put it in her mouth, turn her head side to side and say "yicious!" (Delicious). 

We played hide and seek tonight - she actually knows how to play now (both the hide and the seek part) - but can anyone guess where she is!? Hehe. :) And you can almost see her smiling under those "fovers". 

She bumped her head on the footboard of her bed, sat up and grimaced, said "owwww!", paused as she thought what to do next, then said..."dand-daib", climbed out of bed and marched to her bathroom saying "I dit it". (Translation: I need a bandaid for this boo boo, I'll get it!). Didn't even need me for that one apparently. She looked totally in control and independent taking care if herself! She does have a fascination with band aids at the moment too however! 

Friday, June 28, 2013

The joy of being called mommy

So thankful for my days at home with Kelsie. Becoming a mother is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me! I have lived a blessed life and have experienced some pretty wonderful things but being a mom is easily the best of them all. It is not always easy. In fact, it is the hardest job I have ever had. The responsibilty is so great and the fear, the uncertainty, the guilt, the anxiety can ...all feel so real. But there is no earthly comparison to this kind of love, it is deeper than any other. And the joy and excitement you feel as you watch your child grow and learn and do new things is inexplicable. Each and every day, as I watch Kelsie play, I think how blessed I am to have her in my life. I notice her say and do new things, I see her personality continue to evolve, I receive her sweet affection, I hear her sweet voice calling "mommy", and I am overwhelmed with love for that child! Don't get me wrong, she is not a perfect child and I am not a perfect mother, but there is no doubt that God made us for one another and is helping us along this journey each and every day.
 
Here are a few pictures from our day today:
 
 
Washing her play food. Next I'll have to get her washing dishes! ;)


Trying a new way of entertainment during PT. The vest vibrates so much it's hard to hold and read a book but this tray works pretty well to hold a sticker book and puzzle! 

She loves puzzles and is getting really good at them! She put this one together all by herself and was so proud! Mommy was too!


"DID IT!!!" :)

Friday, May 24, 2013

Growing up so fast...

Sitting in the big girl swing and riding a tricycle!? How did that happen so fast? At least she still needs my help!



Sunday, May 12, 2013

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day! It was such a busy day! We had lunch at Nathan's mom's then went to my aunt's house for dinner (celebrating graduation, mother's day, and dad's birthday). A busy day for Kelsie often means less sleep and today that lack of sleep led to the worst tantrum I have ever witnessed! We got home and she unleashed her inner tiger or something. Oh, it was quite a scene. Screaming and crying so hard she almost threw up! She was just soooooo tired! We did a lot today. She went down for nap late since we were at his parents' house for lunch, then we had to get her up after only an hour of sleep to go to my aunt's house. And she ran around outside non-stop from 5-9p while there. So as I was witnessing this major meltdown trying to contemplate what to do next but could hardly do anything to console her, I remembered that she didn't eat much at dinner and it had at that point been almost 4 hours since she had eaten so I thought maybe she is hungry. Since she is not usually awake at that time of night, that's not something I usually think about. I asked "do you want some milk?" and she calmed for a second and said "ok." As soon as I got back with her milk and a cereal bar, she calmed right down. Then kept saying "mmmm, delilicious" as she ate it! Needles to say, an overly exhausted and hungry child is a force to be reckoned with!! Poor thing said as we laid down and she rubbed her eyes, "seepy". She asked me to sing, held my hand, and laid her face against mine, then was asleep within 60 seconds.

But the greatest tantrum of her existence reminded me:
Parenting is hard and we are still learning as we go!
Sometimes being a mom requires more patience and grace than you know how to give.
Your child depends on you to meet their needs even when they don't know how to express them.
It is more important to figure out WHY your child is acting the way they are than it is to correct the behavior.
Your child finds so much comfort in your voice and in your touch. Make sure you are always there to comfort them and that you will always love them no matter what!


I am also so thankful for my mom today! For her love, support, hard work, kindness, grace, selflessness, and friendship. She is the greatest woman I know and I am so blessed she is my momma and is such an awesome grandma to Kelsie! I am also so thankful God blessed me with the beautiful gift of motherhood! It is the greatest love I have ever known and the hardest but most wonderful job I have ever had! That little girl brings me so much joy and I am so glad God made her mine!

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Zizard!

Kelsie is so intrigued by lizards these days! We saw one on a tree this morning and she tried to feed it a leaf.



Monday, May 6, 2013

Don't want to miss one moment

Every day, I see Kelsie changing more and more. She is doing something new every day. Saying new words. Trying new things. Interested in everything around her. Exploring and imagining. There are so many things that are new to her and it is so fun to witness her reaction when she experiences something new. She looks upon everything with wonder and excitement. Even little things catch her attention, like a big truck passing by or a bird flying in the sky. I often forget to write things down. I just think, "oh my, this is so stinkin cute" or "wow, I cannot believe she remembered that". She amazes me every day with what she says and does and REMEMBERS. It is an absolute joy to spend time with her every day, to watch her play and learn new words and figure out how things work. Unfortunately, its easy to let the busy world get the most of our time and forget to pause and soak it all in. But I don't want to fall victim to that. I don't want to miss one moment. I've been reminded lately just how quickly this time is passing by. She won't be little forever so when she asks me to read one more story or sing to her at night or lay down beside her as she falls asleep, I'm going to be there. I'm learning to stop worrying about that fear of creating a problem and instead, just be there to love her and enjoy these extra special moments for they will soon just be a memory.

Her vocabulary is exploding every day. Her ability to name things amazes me sometimes. Yesterday she found a flashlight and said "mommy, fash-iiight". I don't remember ever teaching her that, and its not something we use very often but she still knew what it was. They are really like little sponges at this age! Sometimes she says words that only we can understand but sometimes we don't even want to correct it because they sounds so cute (or "tute" as she would say!)

She talks about her memories of things A LOT. You can tell things that really had an impact on her because she will randomly bring it up. These days things she says a lot: "fog (frog).. table... jumping.. away" Translation- the frog was under the table jumping and then he went away. This happened several weeks ago and she still talks about it a lot. And anytime she sees a lizard: "Keh-kee, scared, zizard." Translation- Kelly was scared of the lizard. She still hasn't forgotten it either. Nathan's dad helped cut down a tree LAST year and she still talks about it..."papaw, trees".

She cried for me one night after going to bed while staying at Nathan's parents house and when I asked what was wrong, she pointed to the ceiling fan and said "mommy, dragon!". I had to hold back my laughter but compassionately reassured her that it was just a fan, not a dragon. :)

She really seems to say anything that comes to her mind (if you know me well, you probably know she gets that honest!).

She continues to be independent. If we ask or try to help, we typically hear "NO, self" A LOT these day.

She is very affectionate. She hugs on younger children and babies as much as you will let her. She just cannot seem to help herself, she hugs and hugs and hugs and makes that sweet little voice saying "Aaava, tuuuute".

She is still a mommy's girl and I wouldn't want it any other way! :)

Things that make her the happiest: babies, dogs, and the swing!

She is developing more fear about things as kids usually do at this age but she is also still really brave and doesn't get scared of much. When she hears a truck passing by (even when we are in the house), she will run up to me, grab my leg and say "mommy, scared, truck."

We took her to a movie yesterday (my dad wanted to see Oz for his birthday and wanted her to go). She did SO well. Everyone was surprised how well she did. She sat on my lap the whole time and was into the movie from beginning to end. There were definitely some scary parts that I would have rather her not see but it didn't seem to phase her. She seemed to get it and would open her mouth wide or cover her mouth and she did startle a couple of times but didn't cry. It was actually a good movie and kid-appropriate.

She is very tough. She will fall down but just stands up, brushes off her legs and under her breath you can hear her saying "ouch" as she rubs them and keeps on going.

But she also has discovered what band aids are and puts that request out there a lot if she finds a boo boo or just wants to pretend there is one there. Last night, she was sitting on the potty and asked for a band aid. Then very carefully unwrapped it herself and applied it perfectly to a little scratch on her knee. Then wanted to put one on the boo boo on my face too.

 If she sees something on me that she thinks is a boo boo or if she hears me say "ouch", she will run up to me and say "ok? then "tiss it" and "ok, allll better".

She is still trying to count and will do this unpromted...it often sounds like this starting out.."8, 9, 2..." or "6, 7.." but never starts with 1.

She likes her room completely dark (like momma)

She is very strong willed and thats a challenge to discipline at times. She seems to respond best to my talking and explaining to her why things are wrong. She usually does pretty good but we definitely have our share of tantrums. And she can definitely test my patience! Typical toddlerhood/terrible 2s as they call it.

The other day I looked at her with a stern face because she was not listening to me and would not sit back to let me buckle her in the carseat...and what did she do?? She held her hand palm up to my chin, tilted her little head and said with her sweet voice, "mommy, eyes, beautiful"...Now how do you discipline THAT!?

She sleeps very well these days. 12 hours at night usually and a 2-3 hour nap during the day.

Her appetite has been terrible lately but we just started a new medicine, erythromycin (which is an antibiotic but in small doses helps with motility to moves things through her GI system faster aiding with reflux and constipation) and I'm already seeing some improvements.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

7 years

May 2nd, 2006. Its a day I don't remember at all but yet, its significance is one I will never forget. Every year, as the anniversary of my accident approaches, I think it will no longer affect me. But even after 7 years, I cannot help but be overcome with emotion as I think back to all that happened, all that I went through, and all that could have been. I was broken and I am now scarred forever, but I survived and I am stronger. I almost lost my life, I almost lost my legs. But by the grace of God and the hands of doctors, I am here, living proof of a miracle. Thankful for today and every day. But especially today.

CF Appointment - Eating issues

We went back today for a CF appointment. We were supposed to do her infant PFTs with sedation but her doctor decided to cancel that and just use the appointment to discuss all of her feeding issues. She weighed 30.9lbs today and was 91 cm tall (right at 3 feet). So that is actually still really good, 80th percentile for weight and height I believe.

Even though she has been growing well, she still has not been eating well. She continues to love drinking Pediasure which is like a full meal's worth of nutrition but I still want her to eat. She never seems hungry, pushes away food, will take a bite and then gag and spit it out and things of that nature. It has made feeding times very stressful on me because I know how important good nutrition is for her. She is supposed to eat more fat and calories than the average toddler and I feel like (with the exception of Pediasure, she is eating less). Her doctor has said for a while she felt this was just normal picky toddler behavior. And to some degree, I felt the same way. She has definitely been exhibiting some behavioral eating issues. But I also feel there is more going on to affect her appetite. Her reflux has been getting a lot worse despite taking reflux medications. I can hear food regurgitating into her chest when I am holding her and she will pat her chest, make a grimace and say "mommy, burp". She coughs when doing that as well and is coughing more during and after meals. So they decided to put her on a medication to aid in GI motility (moving things through faster) so this will hopefully help with the reflux and the constipation.  They also scheduled an appointment with the feeding team to asses other possible causes of her eating behvaiors and work on developing a plan to get her eating again.

From a pulmonary standpoint, she is doing really well. No concerns there as of now. Her PFTs (pulmonary function test) was rescheduled for June 13th.

Monday, April 29, 2013

Best buddies

Kelly and Ava came to play and stayed for dinner tonight. We had a blast as usual. It is so sweet watching the girls love on each other. Today was the first time I've seen them really fuss over toys and Kelly and I were having to do a bit of coaching teaching them to share. It was a little out of character for Kelsie I have to say because she is usually all about sharing her things. But today she was a little more possessive about her toys. Oh the challenge of parenting a toddlers! But you gotta love it!



Story time

This morning I was reading stories to Kelsie and we thought her friends might enjoy the stories too. :)

Dancing

We were dancing tonight. On the bathroom counter of all places. Sometimes it's the little moments like this that take your breath away. I love every day with her. Such a sweet girl God gave me!!

Sunday, April 28, 2013

A little cold and fever

Kelsie has had a fever for the past 2 days but still runs around like she is the happiest child in the world. She had a fever of 104 last night but was still laughing and loving on me. Today, I asked her if she felt sick and she said "nope". Yesterday, I think she was feeling a little worse though because at one point, she put her hand on her head, said "mommy, check", "sick" and was grimacing like something was bothering her. She has done thing like that before when playing but that time was different. And last night, she was crying using the potty saying "hurts! hurts!", when we asked what hurt she said "butt". She had a little crack in her skin on her bottom and it was clearly really burning. It was so pitiful to see her hurting like that. She is just recently getting to the point of being able to tell us when something hurts. But last night was the first time I have ever really seen her crying that much saying something was hurting and it broke my heart. Even though it was just a minor little thing that will heal up in a day or two, it was sad seeing her so upset and looking to me to fix it. I just sat down on the stool next to her and held her and rubbed her back and she stopped crying. Then she just kept hugging me and kissing me. She is so sweet!

I'm sure this fever will pass within the next day or so. I just hope this little cold that she is brewing doesn't stick around for long. Yesterday she coughed a few times and she sounded a little congested in her nose when she woke up the past 2 mornings but has been fine during the day. No runny nose and no coughing today. I think this will be about the 3rd time she has gotten a little fever and/or cold like symptoms symptoms in the past 4-5 months. But since we started the hypertonic saline in December, those little colds have not turned into anything more significant. No sinus infections and no coughing or lung involvement! So I am very much a fan of the hypertonic saline! I really think it has done a lot to help her clear secretions (which is what its supposed to do) before they have a chance to get infected with bacteria. Hopefully, this little virus will pass as quickly as the last!

She is scheduled for her routine infant PFTs (pulmonary function test with sedation) this Thursday but if she is sick, I'm not sure they are going to want to do it. So I will touch base with her doctor in the next day or so and see what she wants to do. Since this is a routine test for her to measure her lung function while she is well, doing it while she is sick would alter the results which are aimed at determining what her lung function is at baseline.

Friday, April 26, 2013

Lost

Nathan, his dad, and I came back to the house early today to clean and get the house back in order after having the hardwood floors installed. Kelsie stayed at Nathan's moms' so we could get some work done before she got here. So my mom picked her up from Asheboro and she is now on her way back up here. But I have felt SO lost without her! This is the first time I have ever been in the house without her since she's been born! Seriously!! It's never happened! And I am reminded that I don't know what I would ever do without her. This house feels so empty when she's not here. I'm looking forward to our family of 3 all being back together here tonight!

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Hometown!

The best thing about Nathan and I being from the same hometown is that when we go to stay with one family, we get to see everyone! We had to "move out" of our house this past week because we are getting hardwood floors installed throughout the majority of our house including the living, dining and bedrooms. Since we couldn't be on the floors during this process, we had no option but to be out of the house so we came to stay with Nathan's parents in Asheboro. It's almost like a mini-vacation for Kelsie because she is getting to see family members she doesn't often get to see and do all kinds of fun new things. Last Saturday we went to cousin Ava's 1st birthday party; Monday we went to aunt Ana's house; Tuesday and Wednesday Kelsie stayed at Papaw and Nana's all day while I worked and she got to play with new toys, see their dogs, go for a wagon ride, blow bubbles, and help make a dessert; Thursday, she played with Ava and Will, went to a new park with mommy, went to grandma and grandpa's farm and saw the pigs (even got to sit on its back), chase the chickens, gather the eggs, pet the dog, sit on the tractor, ride the fourwheeler, see Grandmaria, and go to the carnival!; Friday we went to great-mamaw Roberts for lunch (or Wa-Wa as she so affectionately calls her) and she got to play with Papaw Sam and Ava. She has had a blast! She is having so much fun! And it looks like the fun will continue as there have been some mistakes made on the floors so we are now staying here another week! It's deinitely nice being surrounded by family and having the opportunity to see everyone! And in some ways, its a nice break for me too! I'm still looking forward to getting back home and getting life in order again but am definitely enjoying a little time in our hometown!





 








 

 

 



 

Monday, April 8, 2013

Looking so grown up!

I couldn't help but snap these photos of Kelsie in the car today. Sunglasses and an iPhone...my oh my, doesn't she look like a teenager here! The sun was shining in her eyes and she asked me for her glasses. I was impressed she remembered that they would help block the sun because she has never worn them in the car before. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for!






Pullen Park

Today was another BEAUTIFUL spring day so I took Kelsie to Pullen Park in Raleigh. This is our second time going. The first time we went, she talked about it for weeks afterwards! So I told her last night that I was going to take her today and she kept saying "excited". She looked a little somber though while we were there. I don't know if something was bothering her or if she was just taking it all in. But she was still definitely excited (despite what it shows in the pictures). I asked her if she was having a good time and she shook her head yes. Then I took her for a ride on the carousel and she was still pretty fearful of that. The last time we went, she rode on it by herself and she cried the whole time. This time I got up there with her and held her. She didn't cry but she sure held on to me tight! And it did go pretty fast so I can see how it would be a little scary for her at first.

Oh how I love days like this spent at the park with my little sweetie!


Boats...
 




Train...
 





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