Good day!

Today was a good day...and definitely needed. Kelsie was very alert and content all day. We also got a break from giving some of her meds because she doesn't seem to be tolerating them very well. Yesterday was a hard day for me. Kelsie slept most of the day and just seemed uncomfortable. She was spitting up so much and even vomited a few times. Its so frustrating to me when this happens because I know she needs all the nutrition she can get so she will gain weight so I try so hard to keep her from spitting up so much. But with all these new meds, there are so many variables, making it hard to know what is causing her to get sick. Yesterday, I just felt defeated and overwhelmed by the tasks filling our day but worrying about her made it that much worse. I just hate it when she feels bad. Sometimes I look at her and see her innocence and just how fragile and delicate she is and it makes me so sad and sometimes even mad that she has to go through this. I just pray over her and plead with God to protect her from infection and keep her healthy and thriving so she can live a long and happy life.  And as much responsibility as I feel and as much as I try to control, I know that ultimately I must hand her future to God and trust like I have never had to trust before. I just have to! Otherwise I will become consumed by fear and worry.  She is the most precious thing in the world to me and God has given me the privilege of being her mom. So I will devote my life to being the best at that job as I can be!

I got alot more smiles from my little Kelsie-bug today so that always makes me feel better!