Mercies in disguise

I had a sad feeling in the pit of my stomach all morning. I just couldn't seem to shake the heartache imagining my baby's life being cut short by this disease. The 'what ifs' were just taunting me and tearing at my soul all morning so I did all I knew to do - I prayed. As I do daily, I begged God to keep her healthy and let her live a long life free from pain and suffering. But even as I prayed that, I still couldn't help but doubt. She HAS Cystic Fibrosis. God hasn't taken that away. So its inevitable that she is going to get sick. Its simply a part of life. But for her, each time she gets sick, it could cause irreversible damage in her lungs. And that damage could eventually lead to compromised lung function which could eventually lead to the unthinkable. This timeline is still in God's hands. And even while I doubt, I still believe. I believe that God is Almighty, He is all-powerful, and He can do ALL things! We have no idea why things happen sometimes or why God allows these trials to come into our lives, but we know that His goodness will prevail. And as hard as it is to accept that my precious daughter will have to endure this illness her entire life, I still must trust that He has a wonderful plan laid out for her.

I often feel like God speaks to me through songs and a few really stand out. With my accident, it was Casting Crowns' Praise you in this storm. I still remember driving the hour trek to physical therapy 3 times a week singing that song with tears in my eyes.  Through almost 4 years of grueling pain and therapy, that song was my anthem, as I was determined to keep praising Him and not give up faith in His healing.
I heard Leelands "Follow you" for the first time while preparing for my trip to Haiti. It was the day before my trip and I was anxiously getting everything together with no way to truly prepare for the devastation I would witness. When I heard that song, it was confirmation that God was indeed sending me and that He would be with me along the way.

And today, I heard this song, Blessings, (in the video below) for the first time. I took Kelsie out for a little while today and this was the first song I heard when we got into the car. And as heavy as my heart was this morning, I think God was reminding me to give everything over to Him.  And as difficult as it is to make sense of why this is happening, the truth is, we really have no idea what He is up to and what blessings may come from this trial.