12 weeks and back to work

Kelsie was 12 weeks old yesterday! Gosh, she is growing up so fast! Twelve weeks seems like such a big milestone for some reason. I guess because its like she is graduating out of that fragile newborn state and into infancy. But its also that dreaded time for me  - the end of my maternity leave. I remember looking forward to this time to spend with my new baby for so long during pregnancy and its hard to believe that it has already came and gone! I never really thought I would want to be a stay-at-home-mom...but then, I met Kelsie! :) And she has just flipped that idea on its head. As exhausting as it may be, I love every moment of being home with her! However, there is that other side of me - the ambitious, professional side that enjoys my career and my patients. I have worked hard through undergrad and grad school to get to where I am and I have been blessed with 2 wonderful jobs. So I do not want to give that up either. The key will be finding the right balance. When Kelsie was diagnosed with CF, I automatically thought, "I am not going back to work, she is more important, and I don't want to be exposed to so many germs and bring them back home to her." But as we thought about it more, I have decided that working is both good and necessary for me and our family. I think the first few weeks will be the hardest but we will find a new routine and we will adjust. Today was my first shift back at Healthlink (my job at UNC as a phone triage nurse). The great thing about this job is that I can work from home from time to time. Today, I was assigned to work from home, but I still missed Kelsie like crazy! Its been so emotional for me and part of that is probably just realizing that today is the first of many days leaving her to go to work! :( Nathan took care of her and I have been hidden away at my desk for 8 hours but we have all survived! Hahaha. I think as a new mommy who spends 24hrs a day with her baby, this is a good reminder that she will still survive without me! And even though I would love nothing more than to take care of her 24/7, its good for her to have some one-on-one time with her daddy taking care of her too! (And perhaps, also good for him to see what mommy does all day!) ;)