Trying to figure it all out

Kelsie has never been a fussy baby but for the past couple of days she has been ever so close to that line! She has not napped well so I'm sure the crying is a result of her being overtired. Her napping is just so sporadic. Some days she will sleep for a good 2 1/2 hours straight, others she will wake up after 45 min and refuse to go back to sleep. I blame myself and try to figure out what I could have done/should have done differently. When we're here, I stress about when to go to her crib and intervene and we we go out, I worry that I'm taking her out too much and not providing enough consistency. But even on days at home, her napping troubles go through the same pattern as when we are out. When she wakes up, she is more interested in looking around than sleeping but then gets mad when she realizes how tired she is. (At least thats what I think is going on in my mommy mind). She will try to get back to sleep on her own but will eventually want to be held. But if she becomes too alert, holding her and rocking her to sleep only upsets her more because she fights it like crazy! Just hold her tight and provide the right amount of jostle. And get close to her face and give lots of kisses (but that only really works if its mommy). Lol. Can you tell its been a bit of a stressful couple of days!? I never thought I would be one to stress over all of this stuff but if you are a mommy, you understand, and if you aren't...well, you may understand one day! :)

Today Nathan wanted us to meet him for lunch so I thought it would be good for us to get out, hoping that Kelsie would enjoy being out and would sleep well in the stroller. Bad idea. Sort of. It was great for the most part - but the bad parts seem to overshadow the rest. She was happy in the beginning but only took a 30 min nap on the way over so I knew the crankiness would come...and it did. After I fed her and she finally fell back asleep, I thought surely she would take a good long nap since she was so tired...so since we were already out, I went browsing around a couple of stores. I keep testing that and I don't know why I don't learn from past failures! Since she has been born, it seems like I'm always needing something. But because each trip out is so limited, I never seem to get everything marked off the list. Whereas I used to go out and get everything accomplished in one day, it now seems to be spread out over a couple of weeks and I still don't end up getting what I need. So today, my plan worked well for about an hour. Then she woke up cranky again. She also seems to be wanting to eat more, so feedings have been closer to every 2-3 hours instead of 3-4. So I'm hoping this is just a phase, a growth spurt maybe?

 But then, because of the CF, I also have to worry that more is going on. Her stools have been increasing in frequency over the past week, so I feel like she could be having an upset tummy as well. The first part of the week, she was also spitting up alot. I emailed her doctor who was really concerned at first. So much so, that she wanted me to take her in if I didn't see improvement within a day. But after I assurred her that Kelsie was still hydrated, she was ok waiting to see how she did. Then her stools improved somewhat but have picked up again over the past 24 hours. Sometimes its just so hard trying to discern normal baby behaviors from her CF symptoms....

So after all that said, I will end on a good note.  Overall, it was a happy day with a couple really fussy moments. And we had a great evening. I took Kelsie for her first swing with mommy on the swingset. (She really liked it!) And she went to bed at 7:30. And while naps are a battle sometimes, she is a great sleeper at night so I am very thankful for that! I love my little girl!!